We are at war.
Sometime in the past, someone or something convinced us that we had limitations, a mold that we fit in. And we believed that, so we designed our lives around that notion.
We are at war.
Our realization of our potential and purpose is our greatest asset - not our bank account. That realization will will drive us to uncover abundance where there was none previously. We will create diamonds from coal and bring water from rock.
We are at war. I am compelled to war.
This is bigger than me. Scarcity is the enemy. Lack is what we hate.
We fight and we struggle because it is good to be at war.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Favorite Quotes
These quotes crack me up everytime.
"Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments where he was merely stupid."
-Heinrich Heine
"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
-Henry Youngman
"Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments where he was merely stupid."
-Heinrich Heine
"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
-Henry Youngman
Friday, September 21, 2007
What is your Horseless Carriage?
Yesterday morning the president of a local university spoke at my Rotary club about the education predicament that we the country, state, county, and community find ourselves in. He was an amazing speaker, so much so, that he turned a topic of little personal interest to me (Polk county education) into a powerfully engaging and compelling speech.
At one point he posed a question to the crowd, "Does anyone know what they first called automobiles when they were created?" There were a few answers, none correct.
"Horseless carriages," he answered.
Up until that point in time the primary mode of operation for getting around town was via a horse-drawn carriage. So when a mechanical invention was created that substituted this, there were no knowns for what it was, so they described it by what it wasn't - horse-less.
The speaker then pulled an iPhone from his pocket. He said we call this a "wireless" phone because it has no wires, again referring to phones from literally decades ago that were all plugged into the wall with wires. He then went on to say that calling that invention simply a wireless phone did little to express what it really was - essentially a hand-held computer.
Now we don't even think about it - wireless phone. It makes sense to us based on what we knew previously, before, in the past, prior to the creation of, history...
When I started thinking about this I realized what a powerful, powerful paradigm this traps us in. Not so much with actual products, but with anything in life.
When something new is introduced, a new mode of thinking, a new paradigm, a new level of relationship, how often do we define it by what it is not, versus what it is?
And how much so in doing this, do we weaken it's purpose and potential because we choose to label it based on what we know and understand, rather than looking for new understanding?
The revelatory newness of a thing demands a newness of understanding. Without that understanding the thing is limited in scope by the definition that we place on it.
At one point he posed a question to the crowd, "Does anyone know what they first called automobiles when they were created?" There were a few answers, none correct.
"Horseless carriages," he answered.
Up until that point in time the primary mode of operation for getting around town was via a horse-drawn carriage. So when a mechanical invention was created that substituted this, there were no knowns for what it was, so they described it by what it wasn't - horse-less.
The speaker then pulled an iPhone from his pocket. He said we call this a "wireless" phone because it has no wires, again referring to phones from literally decades ago that were all plugged into the wall with wires. He then went on to say that calling that invention simply a wireless phone did little to express what it really was - essentially a hand-held computer.
Now we don't even think about it - wireless phone. It makes sense to us based on what we knew previously, before, in the past, prior to the creation of, history...
When I started thinking about this I realized what a powerful, powerful paradigm this traps us in. Not so much with actual products, but with anything in life.
When something new is introduced, a new mode of thinking, a new paradigm, a new level of relationship, how often do we define it by what it is not, versus what it is?
And how much so in doing this, do we weaken it's purpose and potential because we choose to label it based on what we know and understand, rather than looking for new understanding?
The revelatory newness of a thing demands a newness of understanding. Without that understanding the thing is limited in scope by the definition that we place on it.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Winner Reflects on Nightmare Lottery
I copied this article from CNN. I found it amazing and ultimately sad. Reminds me of Solomon, meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless...
MOUNT HOPE, West Virginia (AP) -- In his darkest moments, Jack Whittaker has sometimes wondered if winning the nearly $315 million Powerball game was really worth it.
Jack Whittaker often wonders if he should have just torn up that winning Powerball ticket.
The jackpot that was the stuff of dreams turned into a nightmare: His wife left him and his drug-addicted granddaughter -- his protege and heir -- died. He endured constant requests for money.
Almost five years later, Whittaker is left with things money can't cure: His daughter's cancer, a long list of indiscretions documented in newspapers and court records, and an inability to trust others.
"I don't have any friends," he said in a lengthy interview with The Associated Press. "Every friend that I've had, practically, has wanted to borrow money or something and of course, once they borrow money from you, you can't be friends anymore."
Whittaker was a self-made millionaire long before he became a lottery winner, having built a pipeline business worth $17 million. Then he hit the Powerball in December 2002. It was then the largest single jackpot ever.
The prize was worth $314.9 million. Whittaker opted for the lump-sum payout of $170 million -- $93 million after taxes.
He still has plenty of money. And instead of retiring, the 59-year-old starts his day at 5 a.m., juggling ventures in construction, real estate, used-cars, even movies. Work is the last remnant of his old life. Wittaker answers questions
"Nothing else is normal," he said, sounding simultaneously gruff and sad.
His appearance has changed little. His blue eyes still twinkle when he tells a joke, his cowboy boots are worn from wear, and his grin remains toothless. He's too busy, he says, to pay attention to looks.
Whittaker began working part-time for his father at age 10, pouring cement. At 14, he dropped out of school to work full time. He's owned some kind of business ever since.
"I was accustomed to making big money and making my own money, and I never could get interested in school again after that."
By his own estimate, he's brought water and sewer service to some 100,000 homes and still does some good by providing 200 high-paying jobs.
"Probably the lowest-paid man in my construction company is, I'd say, $36 an hour," he said. "That's a good wage for any part of West Virginia."
Whittaker's family never wanted for anything, and he admits they have long been accustomed to a lifestyle most would consider lavish.
With every change of the seasons, new wardrobes filled their closets. The paint job on one of his granddaughter's many cars cost $16,000. Even the family's marble mausoleum towers over nearby grave markers in the hilltop cemetery in Jumping Branch.
But winning the Powerball was a different kind of wealth that brought instant celebrity status.
Whittaker's struggles with drinking, gambling and philandering became public, and tales of his transgressions were retold with relish.
His home and car were repeatedly burglarized. At a strip club, thieves broke into his Lincoln Navigator and stole a briefcase stuffed with $245,000 in $100 bills and three $100,000 cashiers checks. The briefcase was later found, with the money.
Whittaker was charged twice with driving while under the influence and sued repeatedly, once by three female casino employees who accused him of assault.
In all, Whittaker says, he's been involved in 460 legal actions since winning. He recently settled a lawsuit that alleged his bank failed to catch $50,000 in counterfeit checks cashed from his accounts.
Whittaker believes he has been unfairly demonized by the media, which he says exaggerated his problems and helped drive his wife away.
Jack fell in love with Jewell when he was in eighth grade and she was in seventh. The couple filed divorce papers three years ago but have yet to sign them.
"I don't know any normal person who could have a marriage with everything that's been written about me that's not true," Whittaker said.
The couple's daughter, Ginger McMahan, has battled cancer for years. The disease is in remission, though she remains in poor health. Before Powerball, Whittaker and his wife went to church together. These days, he seldom does.
"It's just aggravating, you know. People come up and ask you for money all the time, tell you some kind of a sob story."
Whittaker says he hasn't been stingy. The Jack Whittaker Foundation has spent $23 million building two churches. His family donates food, clothing and college scholarships to local students, "but all the big work with the foundation is completed," he said.
Whittaker is also done with boozing -- which, on his worst days, involved a fifth of vodka. He says he drank in part because he was worried about granddaughter Brandi Bragg, who shared his independent, headstrong personality and knew from a young age she wanted to run her Paw Paw's businesses.
"She was going to inherit everything," Whittaker said. "Everything that we have was built in a way that it went to her on her 21st birthday."
She never saw that day, dying at 17 after struggling with drug addiction.
Only 14 when Whittaker hit the Powerball, Bragg was in rehab a year later for Oxycontin addiction. Whittaker blames her problems on a kidnapping threat, which led to home schooling, and her decision to run with an older crowd.
He says he hired sheriff's deputies to track Bragg, personally hunted down and reported her drug dealers, and repeatedly sent her to rehab.
"It wasn't two or three months before she was right back on again, same drugs," he said.
He remembers their last conversation, when she was packing up to move to his Virginia home. "I told her, 'I'll come and get ya. I'll come and get ya right now if you're ready to come."'
But she wasn't. Her body was found two weeks later wrapped in a sheet and plastic tarp, hidden in a yard by a boyfriend who panicked when he found her dead.
The state's autopsy found Bragg had pills and a syringe tucked into her bra, and died with cocaine and methadone in her system. But the manner of her death is officially listed as "undetermined."
"If it would bring my granddaughter back, I'd give it all back," Whittaker said of his jackpot. "But I can't get her back, so might as well keep the money, I guess."
He remains devoted to his employees, despite 11 indictments charging his staff with embezzling from his companies.
"Jack is an incredible man," said Kathy Shepherd, Whittaker's administrative assistant for the past year. "People who don't know him have a lot of negative things to say about him, but if they knew him, they wouldn't."
Whittaker has little doubt as to his own legacy.
"I'm only going to be remembered as the lunatic who won the lottery," he said. "I'm not proud of that. I wanted to be remembered as someone who helped a lot of people."
MOUNT HOPE, West Virginia (AP) -- In his darkest moments, Jack Whittaker has sometimes wondered if winning the nearly $315 million Powerball game was really worth it.
Jack Whittaker often wonders if he should have just torn up that winning Powerball ticket.
The jackpot that was the stuff of dreams turned into a nightmare: His wife left him and his drug-addicted granddaughter -- his protege and heir -- died. He endured constant requests for money.
Almost five years later, Whittaker is left with things money can't cure: His daughter's cancer, a long list of indiscretions documented in newspapers and court records, and an inability to trust others.
"I don't have any friends," he said in a lengthy interview with The Associated Press. "Every friend that I've had, practically, has wanted to borrow money or something and of course, once they borrow money from you, you can't be friends anymore."
Whittaker was a self-made millionaire long before he became a lottery winner, having built a pipeline business worth $17 million. Then he hit the Powerball in December 2002. It was then the largest single jackpot ever.
The prize was worth $314.9 million. Whittaker opted for the lump-sum payout of $170 million -- $93 million after taxes.
He still has plenty of money. And instead of retiring, the 59-year-old starts his day at 5 a.m., juggling ventures in construction, real estate, used-cars, even movies. Work is the last remnant of his old life. Wittaker answers questions
"Nothing else is normal," he said, sounding simultaneously gruff and sad.
His appearance has changed little. His blue eyes still twinkle when he tells a joke, his cowboy boots are worn from wear, and his grin remains toothless. He's too busy, he says, to pay attention to looks.
Whittaker began working part-time for his father at age 10, pouring cement. At 14, he dropped out of school to work full time. He's owned some kind of business ever since.
"I was accustomed to making big money and making my own money, and I never could get interested in school again after that."
By his own estimate, he's brought water and sewer service to some 100,000 homes and still does some good by providing 200 high-paying jobs.
"Probably the lowest-paid man in my construction company is, I'd say, $36 an hour," he said. "That's a good wage for any part of West Virginia."
Whittaker's family never wanted for anything, and he admits they have long been accustomed to a lifestyle most would consider lavish.
With every change of the seasons, new wardrobes filled their closets. The paint job on one of his granddaughter's many cars cost $16,000. Even the family's marble mausoleum towers over nearby grave markers in the hilltop cemetery in Jumping Branch.
But winning the Powerball was a different kind of wealth that brought instant celebrity status.
Whittaker's struggles with drinking, gambling and philandering became public, and tales of his transgressions were retold with relish.
His home and car were repeatedly burglarized. At a strip club, thieves broke into his Lincoln Navigator and stole a briefcase stuffed with $245,000 in $100 bills and three $100,000 cashiers checks. The briefcase was later found, with the money.
Whittaker was charged twice with driving while under the influence and sued repeatedly, once by three female casino employees who accused him of assault.
In all, Whittaker says, he's been involved in 460 legal actions since winning. He recently settled a lawsuit that alleged his bank failed to catch $50,000 in counterfeit checks cashed from his accounts.
Whittaker believes he has been unfairly demonized by the media, which he says exaggerated his problems and helped drive his wife away.
Jack fell in love with Jewell when he was in eighth grade and she was in seventh. The couple filed divorce papers three years ago but have yet to sign them.
"I don't know any normal person who could have a marriage with everything that's been written about me that's not true," Whittaker said.
The couple's daughter, Ginger McMahan, has battled cancer for years. The disease is in remission, though she remains in poor health. Before Powerball, Whittaker and his wife went to church together. These days, he seldom does.
"It's just aggravating, you know. People come up and ask you for money all the time, tell you some kind of a sob story."
Whittaker says he hasn't been stingy. The Jack Whittaker Foundation has spent $23 million building two churches. His family donates food, clothing and college scholarships to local students, "but all the big work with the foundation is completed," he said.
Whittaker is also done with boozing -- which, on his worst days, involved a fifth of vodka. He says he drank in part because he was worried about granddaughter Brandi Bragg, who shared his independent, headstrong personality and knew from a young age she wanted to run her Paw Paw's businesses.
"She was going to inherit everything," Whittaker said. "Everything that we have was built in a way that it went to her on her 21st birthday."
She never saw that day, dying at 17 after struggling with drug addiction.
Only 14 when Whittaker hit the Powerball, Bragg was in rehab a year later for Oxycontin addiction. Whittaker blames her problems on a kidnapping threat, which led to home schooling, and her decision to run with an older crowd.
He says he hired sheriff's deputies to track Bragg, personally hunted down and reported her drug dealers, and repeatedly sent her to rehab.
"It wasn't two or three months before she was right back on again, same drugs," he said.
He remembers their last conversation, when she was packing up to move to his Virginia home. "I told her, 'I'll come and get ya. I'll come and get ya right now if you're ready to come."'
But she wasn't. Her body was found two weeks later wrapped in a sheet and plastic tarp, hidden in a yard by a boyfriend who panicked when he found her dead.
The state's autopsy found Bragg had pills and a syringe tucked into her bra, and died with cocaine and methadone in her system. But the manner of her death is officially listed as "undetermined."
"If it would bring my granddaughter back, I'd give it all back," Whittaker said of his jackpot. "But I can't get her back, so might as well keep the money, I guess."
He remains devoted to his employees, despite 11 indictments charging his staff with embezzling from his companies.
"Jack is an incredible man," said Kathy Shepherd, Whittaker's administrative assistant for the past year. "People who don't know him have a lot of negative things to say about him, but if they knew him, they wouldn't."
Whittaker has little doubt as to his own legacy.
"I'm only going to be remembered as the lunatic who won the lottery," he said. "I'm not proud of that. I wanted to be remembered as someone who helped a lot of people."
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Attitudinal
Never heard that word? I might've made it up, I don't know.
I remember growing up when my dad would ask me about my attitude. The funny thing was the question was never asked when I was demonstrating a good attitude, more of when I needed to "check my attitude".
I HATED doing that. I hated being responsible for my attitude (and sometimes still do). And yet as I have gotten older and wiser (I am 30 after all, which is nearly the pinnacle of knowledge and understanding) I realize how important my attitude is.
There's a sequence found in Brian Tracy's Maximum Achievement, that correlates to this. It looks like this:
(IA + AA) x A = IHP
What that means is inborn attributes (personality) plus acquired attributes (family, experiences, programming of all kinds) multiplied by attitude equals individual human performance.
In essence, those three things are the predictors for our outcomes. Tracy goes on to say that one really can't change their inborn attributes, and it's possible to change your acquired attributes, through much discipline and concentration; but the quickest way to change your outcomes is to change your attitude.
Dictionary.com defines attitude as "Manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc, with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind."
Sounds pretty important! That tells me that if I can manage my attitude, I can manage my feelings and my tendencies toward people and situations. It almost sounds like I can, and should, be responsible for my attitude.
Hunh.
Turns out my dad was right, check your attitude...
I remember growing up when my dad would ask me about my attitude. The funny thing was the question was never asked when I was demonstrating a good attitude, more of when I needed to "check my attitude".
I HATED doing that. I hated being responsible for my attitude (and sometimes still do). And yet as I have gotten older and wiser (I am 30 after all, which is nearly the pinnacle of knowledge and understanding) I realize how important my attitude is.
There's a sequence found in Brian Tracy's Maximum Achievement, that correlates to this. It looks like this:
(IA + AA) x A = IHP
What that means is inborn attributes (personality) plus acquired attributes (family, experiences, programming of all kinds) multiplied by attitude equals individual human performance.
In essence, those three things are the predictors for our outcomes. Tracy goes on to say that one really can't change their inborn attributes, and it's possible to change your acquired attributes, through much discipline and concentration; but the quickest way to change your outcomes is to change your attitude.
Dictionary.com defines attitude as "Manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc, with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind."
Sounds pretty important! That tells me that if I can manage my attitude, I can manage my feelings and my tendencies toward people and situations. It almost sounds like I can, and should, be responsible for my attitude.
Hunh.
Turns out my dad was right, check your attitude...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Power of Belief
Often times I assume incorrectly that people don't need as much belief placed in them and encouragement as I do. What a horrible fallacy.
My perceptions of others often place them above me - at least in some way, shape or form. This delusion keeps me silent from encouraging them and expressing appreciation for them in the things they do and who they are.
This in turn, completely blocks the Law of Reciprocity from occurring. Of course the reason for giving is not getting, but it happens to be a fact that it will somehow.
I was thinking about the power of belief on a team, work, sports, whatever. What would happen if a boss or a coach believed so strongly in the individuals on the team that he or she would be willing to take a loss just so that each member could have the opportunity to grow? What if the superstar were held back from saving the day, and the weakest member was allowed to expand their potential - but still lose?
Loyalty. That's what would happen.
I want to be on a team where they are willing to let me fail so that I can grow. And I want to possess the maturity to know when and where to stand down to let others grow. Everyone should have that right.
My perceptions of others often place them above me - at least in some way, shape or form. This delusion keeps me silent from encouraging them and expressing appreciation for them in the things they do and who they are.
This in turn, completely blocks the Law of Reciprocity from occurring. Of course the reason for giving is not getting, but it happens to be a fact that it will somehow.
I was thinking about the power of belief on a team, work, sports, whatever. What would happen if a boss or a coach believed so strongly in the individuals on the team that he or she would be willing to take a loss just so that each member could have the opportunity to grow? What if the superstar were held back from saving the day, and the weakest member was allowed to expand their potential - but still lose?
Loyalty. That's what would happen.
I want to be on a team where they are willing to let me fail so that I can grow. And I want to possess the maturity to know when and where to stand down to let others grow. Everyone should have that right.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Piece in my "BE" puzzle
Christi and I have recently become Certified Human Behavior Consultants- which is a fancy title that means that we have a better grasp of personalities and behavior than most people. It also means that we can conduct seminars teaching this material to other people.
So obviously as I have been learning about myself, I have come to recognize patterns of thought and behaviors about myself that explains more of myself to myself- if that makes sense. But however useful that was, and is, it was really just a list of characteristics that formed a semi-correct representation of who I am. But it never felt real. There was no flesh on those bones.
Well a couple weeks ago I was going about my daily activities and a name divinely popped into my head: Jonathan. Had really no idea what that meant but I decided to go home and read about Jonathan in I Samuel. The proverbial light bulb suddenly got electricity! This was me! Flesh and bones.
I found 11 characteristics of Jonathan that encapsulated the essence of me. These are:
1. Peacemaker
2. Giver
3. Humble
4. Diplomat
5. Protector
6. Friend
7. Communicator
8. Influencer
9. Confidant
10. Loyal
11. Wise
So in the Be, Do, Have sequence of life, I felt like this was a huge piece of me that reflected who I am. It's my belief that once you know who you are, everything that you do emanates from that knowledge and foundation. So now the challenge that I have is learning to soak in truly who I am so that I can overflow congruently.
So obviously as I have been learning about myself, I have come to recognize patterns of thought and behaviors about myself that explains more of myself to myself- if that makes sense. But however useful that was, and is, it was really just a list of characteristics that formed a semi-correct representation of who I am. But it never felt real. There was no flesh on those bones.
Well a couple weeks ago I was going about my daily activities and a name divinely popped into my head: Jonathan. Had really no idea what that meant but I decided to go home and read about Jonathan in I Samuel. The proverbial light bulb suddenly got electricity! This was me! Flesh and bones.
I found 11 characteristics of Jonathan that encapsulated the essence of me. These are:
1. Peacemaker
2. Giver
3. Humble
4. Diplomat
5. Protector
6. Friend
7. Communicator
8. Influencer
9. Confidant
10. Loyal
11. Wise
So in the Be, Do, Have sequence of life, I felt like this was a huge piece of me that reflected who I am. It's my belief that once you know who you are, everything that you do emanates from that knowledge and foundation. So now the challenge that I have is learning to soak in truly who I am so that I can overflow congruently.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Beginning
The past few months have been a pretty frustrating - but great, time for me. Great because I'm associated with people who believe and trust in me to a really huge degree. I also am given a large amount of freedom which is amazing. The frustrating part has been a lot of unanswered questions that I've had.
Questions like:
Who am I?
What am I good at?
What should I be doing?
What could I be doing?
How would I design my life if I could?
And so on....
The funny thing is it seems like when you have very few options there are very few doors to walk through and so the decision is easy.
To illustrate. We don't have cable TV service meaning we get nothing. Not nothing in the the sense of nothing good- literally nothing, no channels. We've done this on purpose because it gives us more time to do other things that we value more than watching TV.
However, when I go to someone's house, I usually enjoy watching TV. The problem is that if I have too many choices I get frustrated because I feel like I'm missing something. So I may find 8 different shows to watch and I don't know what to watch. It would almost be simpler if I had 10 channels to watch and thus far fewer choices, and thus less confusion.
So back to my point. I'm finding that my life is similar. I feel like I have SO many choices, so many doors that I could walk through that I don't know what to do - so I do nothing. And that's been the source of my frustration lately.
What to do? What to think about? What to read? What to listen to? And on and on.
Well I finally had a piece of clarity happen for me last week that was pretty huge. It answered a big piece of the puzzle that was missing in my "BE" puzzle.
And I'll get to the answer later...
Questions like:
Who am I?
What am I good at?
What should I be doing?
What could I be doing?
How would I design my life if I could?
And so on....
The funny thing is it seems like when you have very few options there are very few doors to walk through and so the decision is easy.
To illustrate. We don't have cable TV service meaning we get nothing. Not nothing in the the sense of nothing good- literally nothing, no channels. We've done this on purpose because it gives us more time to do other things that we value more than watching TV.
However, when I go to someone's house, I usually enjoy watching TV. The problem is that if I have too many choices I get frustrated because I feel like I'm missing something. So I may find 8 different shows to watch and I don't know what to watch. It would almost be simpler if I had 10 channels to watch and thus far fewer choices, and thus less confusion.
So back to my point. I'm finding that my life is similar. I feel like I have SO many choices, so many doors that I could walk through that I don't know what to do - so I do nothing. And that's been the source of my frustration lately.
What to do? What to think about? What to read? What to listen to? And on and on.
Well I finally had a piece of clarity happen for me last week that was pretty huge. It answered a big piece of the puzzle that was missing in my "BE" puzzle.
And I'll get to the answer later...
Monday, July 30, 2007
Gobbledygook
Word vomit.
Audible excretions.
Think puke.
More often that not, my waxing philosophical is not really much more than the lovely expressions above. I can talk a lot- if pressed anyway. Or I can sit around and think- ok. But the litmus test is will I go do? Will I go do what I talk and think about?
Of course the majority of time I don't know what to go and do. Why do if it's not thought out completely first with pros and cons and very clear goals and strategies to obtain those goals?
That's what I tend to think anyway. Not saying that's the right way...
One thing that I really like is called the Corridor Principle. It states that if you are standing at the end of a corridor and the other end is as far as the eye can see, you will only see those doors on either side of you that are closest to you. However, if you begin moving down the corridor, your perspective will change and new doors will "appear", although they were really there all along.
Meaning? Start moving. Take action. Put your back field in motion.
Audible excretions.
Think puke.
More often that not, my waxing philosophical is not really much more than the lovely expressions above. I can talk a lot- if pressed anyway. Or I can sit around and think- ok. But the litmus test is will I go do? Will I go do what I talk and think about?
Of course the majority of time I don't know what to go and do. Why do if it's not thought out completely first with pros and cons and very clear goals and strategies to obtain those goals?
That's what I tend to think anyway. Not saying that's the right way...
One thing that I really like is called the Corridor Principle. It states that if you are standing at the end of a corridor and the other end is as far as the eye can see, you will only see those doors on either side of you that are closest to you. However, if you begin moving down the corridor, your perspective will change and new doors will "appear", although they were really there all along.
Meaning? Start moving. Take action. Put your back field in motion.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Focus on what?
I was talking to a friend earlier, I'll call him Grant. (I'll call him that because that's his name and it just makes more sense that way...)
Anyway, we briefly discussed the idea of focus. He suggested that I write something on focus, being that...actually I don't know why he suggested that, but here goes.
I was at Starbucks this afternoon, after I talked to Grant, and I was thinking about the topic of focus and how does one focus, how does one decide what to focus on, and so on. Surprisingly enough an answer to that question popped into my head.
Before I get to that, let me discuss a principle found in multiple books, off of which my thought was based on. The principle is one of my favorites and it is Be, Do, Have.
This is explained best by working backwards: In order to have, you must do. And in order to do, you must become. Unfortunately, the majority of people get this principle backwards which is why we have state lotteries that are so ridiculously well funded. People want to have $492 million dollars, but they don't want to do anything to get that money any other way, and they certainly aren't interested in becoming proper stewards/managers first.
Why this is relates to our general distaste for personal responsibility, our philosophies of something for nothing, and our complete and utter lack of time perspective.
Relate it to an apple tree. We want the apple, but we don't want to plant the seedling in the soil and wait for the roots to to take hold and then wait for the tree to grow. We want the apple NOW! Why wait? Can't wait! Gotta go, gotta move.
Calm yourself.
The answer is this: Define what fruit you want (Have). Then work or focus on the root system that will produce that fruit (Be). Once you begin Be-ing, you can start growing (Do), which will produce the effect that you wanted.
Then you can enjoy that apple.
Anyway, we briefly discussed the idea of focus. He suggested that I write something on focus, being that...actually I don't know why he suggested that, but here goes.
I was at Starbucks this afternoon, after I talked to Grant, and I was thinking about the topic of focus and how does one focus, how does one decide what to focus on, and so on. Surprisingly enough an answer to that question popped into my head.
Before I get to that, let me discuss a principle found in multiple books, off of which my thought was based on. The principle is one of my favorites and it is Be, Do, Have.
This is explained best by working backwards: In order to have, you must do. And in order to do, you must become. Unfortunately, the majority of people get this principle backwards which is why we have state lotteries that are so ridiculously well funded. People want to have $492 million dollars, but they don't want to do anything to get that money any other way, and they certainly aren't interested in becoming proper stewards/managers first.
Why this is relates to our general distaste for personal responsibility, our philosophies of something for nothing, and our complete and utter lack of time perspective.
Relate it to an apple tree. We want the apple, but we don't want to plant the seedling in the soil and wait for the roots to to take hold and then wait for the tree to grow. We want the apple NOW! Why wait? Can't wait! Gotta go, gotta move.
Calm yourself.
The answer is this: Define what fruit you want (Have). Then work or focus on the root system that will produce that fruit (Be). Once you begin Be-ing, you can start growing (Do), which will produce the effect that you wanted.
Then you can enjoy that apple.
The chicken or the egg…this has been the beginning of many discussions, debates, arguments, etc, etc.
For any that wouldn’t know (I’m not sure who you are…) but the issue concerns which came first: the chicken, or the egg, in which chickens hatch from. Where was the point of origin? Was there first a chicken that had eggs that produced more chickens? Or was there an egg that produced the first chicken that produced more eggs and so on.
Obviously, I’m not getting into a Creationism/Evolution debate; I’m merely using that metaphor to consider two points of view. The topic to be discussed here would be self-leadership, or the idea that one can lead oneself.
Over my illustrious career of reading other people’s books, I have noticed a trend toward self-motivation, desire, accomplishing the impossible, living a passionate life, to name a few. And too many times I have thought to myself, “right, ok, but what if I don’t have a burning desire, or I don’t feel motivated, or I don’t know what my passion is, what then?”
That realization can presumably lead to a fork in the road. One side of the fork could lead down the path that would legitimize the mediocrity that one typically wallows in. The other side of the fork could lead to a dogged determination to find the determination to keep going, to keep pursuing that fabled fountain of youth.
I myself faced that fork of indecision. On one hand I could take whatever color pill made me go back to sleep and slip back into the Matrix, or I could take the other one and be faced with the seemingly insurmountable odds of new revelations, new thought patterns, and the veritable destruction of the zone of comfort that I had so readily encased myself in.
Our minds are tricky things. They are like eager servants that salivate to do our bidding. They don’t place value judgments on what we think or decide, and they will even go so far as to create fictitious circumstances to back us up. Our minds can lie to us with a smile on their faces and wink in their eyes.
This is the zone of comfort that I had encased myself in. Incorrect perceptions of reality, delusions of poverty, reinforced mentalities of despair and fear – they were all there.
So now, back to the fork in the road…
I chose the one that made me confront myself. And that’s what you must do too. You must actually take the position of thinking about what you think about. Think about that; to actually take a thought and put it under a microscope for analysis. Does that thought count as something useful and worthwhile? Or does it reek of insignificance, complacency, and conformity. Ultimately that’s what I had to do, and have to do, and what you have to do as well.
As someone once said, if you continue to do the things you have always done, you’re always get what you’ve always gotten.
You don’t plant a vineyard and get corn. You don’t plant the mundane and get passion.
But the question still presents itself: How is something created in our reality that has never existed? How can we lead ourselves when we don’t know who we are, where we are in relation to where we want to be, and even if we knew the answers to those questions, this one might stop us dead in our tracks – what if we’re not trustworthy enough to lead ourselves?
Well I’m glad I asked that question on your behalf!
The answer for me started with osmosis. I delved into the lives of people that exhibited all of the fruit that I wanted in my life. I absorbed their essence which became my inspiration. I patterned my desire to think like others have thought in order to create a newness in my mind. And anything I have done, you can do too, I assure you.
I am new on the journey. I still wrestle with my own mind and how it infuriatingly reminds me of my comfort zone and how, well, comfortable I was there. It reminds me of the warmth there, the embryonic fluids that once nourished me (or so I thought). And yet my purpose lies not in the womb, but outside the belly.
For it’s outside the belly that I’m confronted with the reality of life and of responsibility. Many people never mentally remove themselves from the perceived security of the belly. They are physically born, to a set of parents that hopefully tend to their needs and parents should. Once that inclination towards reliance gets built solidly into our minds, we transfer that mode of thinking to our jobs, our families, and our government.
“I know I’m an adult, but someone should take care of me”, is the subconscious engine that drives most of the people driving most of the cars on the streets today. There is no need to self-lead because most people were never kicked out of the nest in the sense that they were forced to take real responsibility for their lives.
A caveat. Most people of course assume some responsibility for their lives. They can show up at work on time, they can make house payments, they can plan for retirement, etc.
But what I’m talking about is real responsibility. The kind that makes you question the trajectory of your life – not just the kind that ensures good eating and correct portions.
One of my favorite principles from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. Initially this sounds confusing and not that interesting, but it’s actually fascinating.
What it means is that between a stimulus, for instance someone cutting us off in traffic, and our response to that stimulus, we have the freedom to choose that response. The danger that we often get into is that we believe that our response is contingent on outside forces not in our control, “the devil made me do it”, “she made me so mad that I had to…”, and so on.
It’s actually much easier to let the stimulus determine our responses because then we don’t have to take responsibility for those actions.
So all this to say what? To say that in order to engage in effective self-leadership, you must first determine that you are responsible, you are response-able.
For any that wouldn’t know (I’m not sure who you are…) but the issue concerns which came first: the chicken, or the egg, in which chickens hatch from. Where was the point of origin? Was there first a chicken that had eggs that produced more chickens? Or was there an egg that produced the first chicken that produced more eggs and so on.
Obviously, I’m not getting into a Creationism/Evolution debate; I’m merely using that metaphor to consider two points of view. The topic to be discussed here would be self-leadership, or the idea that one can lead oneself.
Over my illustrious career of reading other people’s books, I have noticed a trend toward self-motivation, desire, accomplishing the impossible, living a passionate life, to name a few. And too many times I have thought to myself, “right, ok, but what if I don’t have a burning desire, or I don’t feel motivated, or I don’t know what my passion is, what then?”
That realization can presumably lead to a fork in the road. One side of the fork could lead down the path that would legitimize the mediocrity that one typically wallows in. The other side of the fork could lead to a dogged determination to find the determination to keep going, to keep pursuing that fabled fountain of youth.
I myself faced that fork of indecision. On one hand I could take whatever color pill made me go back to sleep and slip back into the Matrix, or I could take the other one and be faced with the seemingly insurmountable odds of new revelations, new thought patterns, and the veritable destruction of the zone of comfort that I had so readily encased myself in.
Our minds are tricky things. They are like eager servants that salivate to do our bidding. They don’t place value judgments on what we think or decide, and they will even go so far as to create fictitious circumstances to back us up. Our minds can lie to us with a smile on their faces and wink in their eyes.
This is the zone of comfort that I had encased myself in. Incorrect perceptions of reality, delusions of poverty, reinforced mentalities of despair and fear – they were all there.
So now, back to the fork in the road…
I chose the one that made me confront myself. And that’s what you must do too. You must actually take the position of thinking about what you think about. Think about that; to actually take a thought and put it under a microscope for analysis. Does that thought count as something useful and worthwhile? Or does it reek of insignificance, complacency, and conformity. Ultimately that’s what I had to do, and have to do, and what you have to do as well.
As someone once said, if you continue to do the things you have always done, you’re always get what you’ve always gotten.
You don’t plant a vineyard and get corn. You don’t plant the mundane and get passion.
But the question still presents itself: How is something created in our reality that has never existed? How can we lead ourselves when we don’t know who we are, where we are in relation to where we want to be, and even if we knew the answers to those questions, this one might stop us dead in our tracks – what if we’re not trustworthy enough to lead ourselves?
Well I’m glad I asked that question on your behalf!
The answer for me started with osmosis. I delved into the lives of people that exhibited all of the fruit that I wanted in my life. I absorbed their essence which became my inspiration. I patterned my desire to think like others have thought in order to create a newness in my mind. And anything I have done, you can do too, I assure you.
I am new on the journey. I still wrestle with my own mind and how it infuriatingly reminds me of my comfort zone and how, well, comfortable I was there. It reminds me of the warmth there, the embryonic fluids that once nourished me (or so I thought). And yet my purpose lies not in the womb, but outside the belly.
For it’s outside the belly that I’m confronted with the reality of life and of responsibility. Many people never mentally remove themselves from the perceived security of the belly. They are physically born, to a set of parents that hopefully tend to their needs and parents should. Once that inclination towards reliance gets built solidly into our minds, we transfer that mode of thinking to our jobs, our families, and our government.
“I know I’m an adult, but someone should take care of me”, is the subconscious engine that drives most of the people driving most of the cars on the streets today. There is no need to self-lead because most people were never kicked out of the nest in the sense that they were forced to take real responsibility for their lives.
A caveat. Most people of course assume some responsibility for their lives. They can show up at work on time, they can make house payments, they can plan for retirement, etc.
But what I’m talking about is real responsibility. The kind that makes you question the trajectory of your life – not just the kind that ensures good eating and correct portions.
One of my favorite principles from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. Initially this sounds confusing and not that interesting, but it’s actually fascinating.
What it means is that between a stimulus, for instance someone cutting us off in traffic, and our response to that stimulus, we have the freedom to choose that response. The danger that we often get into is that we believe that our response is contingent on outside forces not in our control, “the devil made me do it”, “she made me so mad that I had to…”, and so on.
It’s actually much easier to let the stimulus determine our responses because then we don’t have to take responsibility for those actions.
So all this to say what? To say that in order to engage in effective self-leadership, you must first determine that you are responsible, you are response-able.
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